Two Stallions go out
by Ceresbane
Summary: Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants go out.


Prince Blueblood had mixed feelings about it all. Going out on the town, on an excursion no less, with whom he saw as the most eccentric noble of all of Canterlot. Walking the streets of the city Blueblood sighed ever so much with every passing of a horse drawn carriage. He would have much preferred reaching their destination via that form of transportation than this rather commoner's way of horsing around. Indeed walking was for the dirty common earth ponies, most certainly unbefitting ones of his regal station. But Fancy Pants and his amusement for the "charmingly rustic" ways of Equestria won over. Against him Blueblood could never win, he just couldn't hold the heart to refuse Fancy Pants whenever the chance came. Mayhaps one would say that innocence of his was what made Fancy Pants's heart truly noble, and that is what Blueblood admired about him the most, what everypony admired of him in fact. He had something no amount of money can buy, none could have it, but at least they can be near its proximity.

"Are we quite close Fancy... I swear with each canter a second I begin to feel my hooficure becoming undone." said Blueblood. He would mostly do anything Fancy Pants wanted, but if he didn't like it, he would most certainly make sure Fancy Pants would hear of it regularly. But the older noble clearly showed a heart of saints. He not only loved being together with the arrogant prince but he even held the tolerance to stay with the boy for more than needed. As such Blueblood's whining did nary a faze on the older gentlecolt's optimistic demeanour. His reply made only with his kind smile and a fatherly rustling of the boy's mane that would have any other pony executed. And that short trottingham laugh he did just putting that cherry of charm upon the proverbial cake he took on Blueblood's patience.

But despite all of Blueblood's irritation, he couldn't help but be swept by Fancy's mood and smile a little through the fire of his sense of indignation.

"Cooo-eeee!" Both smiles faded at the sound.

A most horrid sound that echoed out to the streets, though a sound so common in this city as to not faze most ponies bustling about their daily lives. However what it meant to ponies for ones such as themselves... more certainly than not, this outburst was usually used for their attentions to be gained. Fancy smiled widely his winning smiling but his eyes spoke of a quiet anger simmering away.

"Oh dear... watch yourself prince, a lady encroaches our vicinity." In Blueblood's revelry of thought he had not seen the consortium of noble mares waving their hoofkerchiefs and cooing for their pleasures. At the head of this oestrogen pack Fleur de lis cantered over to them, her eyes focused only on her beloved Fancy, leaving Blueblood to wallow in her company's... company.

"Together side by side, keeping pleasure of each other's company. The ponies will talk Fancy. And you know what occurs when ponies talk." Blueblood didn't like her tone one bit but Fancy Pants didn't seem all that worried, he smiled and acknowledged, as if the two shared a private jest between each other.

"I suppose you wish for my company." Fancy replied crisply.

"Indeed, or better yet we could all keep the the pleasure of each other's. My compatriots seem to have taken quite a liking to your charming Prince." The direction this was taking was not exactly ideal and Blueblood was not pleased at all, her venomous/sultry tone biting home again. She flashed him malicious look when she was sure he noticed. As if to confirm her hidden blade, her marefriends giggled at the jab aimed towards the royal prince. The audacity to mock royalty made Blueblood grimace and the prospect of powerlessness against a lady made him fire up with a suppressed hate. Meeting eyes with Fancy Pants, Blueblood could see him mirror the expression ever so briefly.

At this point Prince Blueblood would normally proclaim his honour stained and issue a challenge so that the insult would be forgiven. But in Canterlot high society, one does not simply strike a lady for her wayward ways. As such all Blueblood could do was grit his teeth closed mouthed and quietly. Fancy Pants smacked his lips to make it known his readiness to reply. But his mouth remained open with contemplation as he cycled through words in his head.

"I would have to decline today. For you see we are out on errands for Princess Celestia. We can ill afford such wonderful distractions at this present moment." Blueblood nodded affirmatively. Yes that would do it. No pony would dare obstruct official royal business. They would have to take the refusal aptly and leave them in their lonesome.

"I see... well mayhaps we shall accompany you on your next excursion. Paint the town red as it were."

Fancy blushed a little as Fleur pecked him in the cheek in passing. Mirroring their mistress, her marefriends kissed both Blueblood's cheeks. The instant they were out of sight and ear shot, Blueblood furiously wiped his cheek clean. If those two put so much as a stain on his freshly bathed and groomed pristine white coat, tartarus will have no fury like a prince scorned.

"Blueblood." In surprise and an instant feeling of disgrace upon realisation he found Fancy Pants waking him from his angry, ugly thoughts. Almost certainly he'd seen his ugly hateful glare as well.

Downcast and ashamed, the prince's mood plummeted into despair.

"I say lad, where's that stiff upper lip of yours?" Fancy Pants took a hoof to each side of Blueblood's face to force his eyes up and into his. Looking him straight in the eyes he couldn't stomach letting him see him this way. So with a force of will his feelings welled into his stomach and imagined them becoming dissolved into nothing.

"I apologize for such a disgraceful display Fancy. I wasn't myself for a moment."

"Oh think nothing of it. Mares I tell you. They have the magic to bring the worse out of a good stallion. And by Celestia can they not see that we are having our colt to colt moment? I swear they will never fathom that sometimes we need to be without their company for a moment and enjoy the camaraderie of good sporting colts such as ourselves."

"I forgot to ask before but what exactly are we doing today?"

"What every noble in Canterlot does to amuse themselves." What could that possibly mean? Sports? Theatre? Museums? Galleries? Soirees?

"Shopping." And so the planets aligned and all of the meanings in life became suddenly fathomable. Of course. Nobles have nothing to do but spend money in these utopian times. And everything needed money.

And then it clicked in his tiny head.

"That doesn't really answer the question."

"No time to waste then, come along we've much to do."

"Fancy. I don't like where this is going." True enough to Fancy's claim, they had now walked all the way from the noble estates to the shopping district of Canterlot. However Fancy moved with purpose as if this particular place was not their destination. As they moved deeper into the district and away from the finery of the Noble's quarter, the streets became smaller and increasingly more populated.

"Fancy we shouldn't move any further. It is unheard of for ones such as us to be here. Think of the scandal." Fancy continued to walk, Blueblood wanted to draw the line by stopping where he stood upon the threshold. But after a few meters of Fancy's unheeded advance he couldn't help but follow, for fear of being left alone in the middle class quarter of the shopping district. An alien place likely filled with many con-ponies and scammers and muggers and thieves.

The streets increased in seediness as they passed large flagship shopping establishments, to privately owned businesses, chain stores, public houses, corner shops, stalls until finally, they came upon the clusterbuck of all of Equestria.

"Fancy, no. We shouldn't be here. Ponies will talk. They'll have us associated with ruffians and criminals and perverts and other more terrible riff-raff." Fancy wasn't listening. Instead he waved a hoof to all that he perceived as if what he saw was a wonder where in reality there was a cesspit.

"Welcome to the Canterlot market." Fancy happily proclaimed but Blueblood wasn't listening, nor could he hear anyway if he were. Everywhere they looked ponies dressed in lesser dress than rags and nudity. The was place chaotic with noise and voices that Fancy had to shout simple worded concerns towards Blueblood to be understood.

Supporting Blueblood by the shoulder they crossed the market square towards the more secluded, darker, dirtier corners of the place. Royal guards were in place there, so there was no fear of any cliched mishaps. Breathing heavily Blueblood took a pomander out of his pocket and breathed into it as if surfacing water with each inhalation, taking in the scent of lavender to calm his nerves. Fancy Pants merely waited, quietly patting him lovingly in the back, doing what little he can to ease the prince into a more relaxed state.

"The air here is so... common." To Blueblood's sensitive nose, use only to flowers and perfumes and several types of bleach, the air stank of pony sweat and dirt. How could Fancy take it, where he himself is on the brink of gagging?

"Nonesense, it is the air filled with pony kind." Blueblood wasn't really listening. His coat was assured to be ruined, if not only by appearance but also by smell as well. He should have brought a cloak, anything to shield his body of the corruption of this place.

A prod to his ribs brought Blueblood back to reality, as Fancy Pants spied something of interest to him.

"What do you think of this?" They were before a fairly large stall filled with a rather queer looking fruit. It was yellow and curved, long and erect. It smelt like Blueblood's aunt vaguely and on the side was a bag identical to what she always had beside her in the throne room. Could this be where she got those ever elusive bananas? _A royal princess would frequent a place like this, for something like... this?_ Blueblood thought as he took one of the fruit from a bunch and became increasingly certain of what he wanted from it.

"I certainly have a few ideas on what to do with this." Blueblood's confidence growing with every moment he grasped the yellow fruit with his magic.

"What do you mean?" Fancy Pants couldn't read his thoughts at all.

"I'll show you." Blue Blood wears a crisp grin.

Blueblood observed the object in question for a moment and levitated along his nose, sniffing the pull length experimentally. Floating the tip to his mouth he began to nibble. He bit hard and began to pull, peeling the banana ever so slowly, leaving Fancy Pants aghast at his audacity.

"Are you mad, boy!? Surely your father has taught you better than to act this way." Looking Fancy Pants in the eye, Blueblood levitates the banana flesh slowly towards his mouth.

"I just want a taste Fancy Pants, you should not be such a prude." Fancy Pants looked around him frantically, making utterly sure that no one is seeing what he is seeing.

"Child! You shall behave yourself this instant!" This got his attention. It got everypony's attention. No pony around was without a good stare at the pair. The idols of the city in the state of affairs they were now. If Blueblood was not careful the tabloids would flood him with slanderous scandal. Fancy Pants seldom showed his angry side but when he does, you know you've taken it too far.

Blueblood enjoyed the few moments of suspense and tension. Fancy was increasingly looking nervous as the peeled banana floated, frozen in the air, mere inches away from his lips and slowly encroaching, groping tongue of the long fleshy yellow fruit. _Such delicious schadenfruede. _He is so much fun to tease.

"Oh very well... I surrender. I shall buy this banana, before I have my way with it. Tis the honest thing to do." With an exasperated sigh and a roll of his beautiful princely sapphire eyes. He gives in, intent to no longer fire the ire of the older noble.

"Indeed it is, but you should have known better from the start young colt." Stealing was most unbecoming of a prince of the realm after all.

"Yes... Yes... everything has to be your way. I shall buy a bunch in fact. You know how auntie loves these things. Though Celestia only knows what she does with them... I've never seen her so much as peel one before." Fancy Pants's face twisted into a look of horror as a few images flashed in his mind of a vague memory he long since thought he'd suppressed.

"They are food and nothing more. Now let us be off, there is much to get." Neither pony seemed to not notice that they could suddenly hear each other so clearly in the market. No pony around spoke, no pony moved without prompting, intent to watch the scene before them.

"Like what may I ask?" Blueblood followed albeit hesitant with scepticism.

"Carrots, cucumbers, turnips, you know... all the practical things to eat." Fancy was suddenly in a hurry to the next needed stall. The stall clerk gladly gave him a bunch of turnips, big fresh and healthy and thick.

"Practical you say." Blueblood raised an eye brow at this as he followed close behind.

"Indeed. Nothing like a good fresh turnip in you. It really gets this old dicky ticker of mine pumping quite nicely." Those words warranted a gasp from parts of the crowd. But the pair remained ignorant of their presence.

"This is servant's work." At that proclamation everypony were still looking. Now passed from their initial shock, they collectively gathered the courage to murmur and talk at the spectacle they were seeing.

"What are you all looking at?" Blueblood finally acknowledging the plebs amongst them.

"... Excuse us sirs it's just..." A young mare trotted over and bowed politely. Her voice trailed off as she spoke to say something under her breath.

"What she meant to say was..." An old stallion, who to anypony around could tell was of some familial relation to the bonny mare, gave a polite nod himself before holding the young one close. He whispered something into the ear of the young one and she agreed to whatever it was.

"...was that we rarely see nobility going out into the market to shop for... food." The young mare began.

"We were all just very surprised to see such high standing ponies about such a drab and common place such as this. Side by side... together."

"I see..." Fancy nodded in acknowledgement.

"Well... I've come here under great protest. I-" Fancy pants put a hoof to his mouth.

"You see everypony. Prince Blueblood has a phobia of fresh uncooked food. Preferring more complex and grandiose dishes, he's spoiled his palette for simpler pleasures. I've come here to educate him in the simple pleasures of good wholesale foods."

"I-" Blueblood tried to speak with a hoof in his mouth but Fancy Pants merely pushed his limb deeper into his throat.

"Look forward to these visitation to become more common. It seems such a thing should be made more frequent a thing." Fancy Pants proclaimed with no real thought to what he's saying.

It was met with awkward silence.

"We would gladly like to help you sirs with your cl- shopping. Just ask of us what you wish from us and we shall be glad to serve." This was met with a chorus of agreement and positive nods.

"And I'm glad of it."

Taking home bags and bags of free samples of the various competing stalls. They returned home to the estate, had vegetable stew made and nothing sexual happened.


End file.
